You tell yourself you're working hard for your family, but lately, your partner says you're using work to avoid them. Why is work a more comfortable and clear space than home?
In this episode, Rich Heller dives into workaholism a cultural disease and a socially sanctioned escape hatch from the complexities of emotional connection.
The Escape Hatch: Work is often preferred because it offers clear goals and instant rewards (dopamine hits), unlike marriage, which is a constant process without simple "check" marks. This environment fosters an addictive quality, turning the virtue of providing into the vice of avoidance.
The Cost of Escape: We discuss the high price of this pattern, often seen in the primary wage earner (a role held by men in 55% of marriages and women in 29%). When providing morphs into avoidance, the cost is the loss of intimacy, goodwill, and emotional fluency at home.
Learn How to Shift: We share the story of Brad and Gwen, who replaced avoidance with alignment by:
Establishing strict work cutoff times and transition rituals.
Practicing emotional labeling and micro-connections.
Reframing his drive for achievement to align with family values.
If work has become your hiding place, it’s time to move from defensiveness to genuine partnership.
Resources: If work has become a hiding place for you, join our free community group, The Bridge, for resources to help you build emotional fluency and strong boundaries:
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childhood development, family dynamics, and the parent-child bond